XOXO

This blog is more a tale of last nights events than a current life-affairs journal. It consists of what I can only call fantastic gossip - from the girl that loves it most.

(Just to point out before I get started, this has all actually happened- and all of what i'm about to tell you has got both LB & I ridiculously excited. )


To kick it all off, I'll have to skip on back to Tuesday nights Chinese affair:

BH and I over a casual couple of bottles of wine, ridiculous amounts of food, and general catch up got onto the hot topic of her current boyfriends' not-quite-betrayals and not-so-infidelities. He has remained friends with his first long term girlf - some blonde model-esque bimbo that is part of The 88 (essentially his 'crew'). And rumour has it there are photos of them out, in the group together, on a night that BH wasn't invited to. She doesn't suit green at the best of times, and I was not dishing out the best advice - what with my past relationship record not exactly working in my favour. Absolutely smitten, to the point where the boyf is pretty much all she talks about - more wine, more chat - and it turned out I was only the means of an aliby for her for the evening. Post dinner she had a 'revenge' date with none other than mysterious old, old flame BK. A little more dutch courage and it was off to play third-wheel, knowing that it was a bad idea from the get go. As lovely as mysterious BK is - she is very much a taken lady, and after blowing him off four previous times this summer, a meeting out of spite seemed pretty harsh, even by my standards. Really though, who am I to judge? Word of advice B - Karma's a bitch.

Then anyway, when they had settled in a comfort zone to suit them both, i made my escape - for my last week of work, I thought it sensible to try to remain as bright eyed as possible - even after too much gin.

Phone call next day revealled what happened next..

After remaining at the bar for half an hour, he offered to drive her home. Then, instead of going straight home, one thing led to another, and they went for a drive. Turns out he had the faithful romantic Chinese lanterns that they had lit during the perfect breakup poised on the back seat for just such a rendevous. Rumour has it they didn't kiss, but i'd be putting money on that being futher from the truth than either of them would ever let on..

So, Orange Wednesday!

Everything was perfectly scheduled out prior to getting to the office. Finish work, nails done, cinema date - a brilliantly mapped out night. Then, as always, something ruined the plan - EJ.

Mid afternoon panicked phone calls revealed her University city bedroom had been leased out as a crack den in her Ibiza absence - and without house insurance, or her door locked, her double bed, virtually empty room was a paradise for junkies and whores alike. Her boyf playing (rugby) away - apparently I was the next best thing to go 'sort things out' - in times of trouble, always look to your little sister, hey! Expecting a bit of a scene, I of course obliged the request - and went as wingman.

Rocked up to clouds of spliff and human filth. The air smelt like stale piss and even staler cat, and one of the boys was blaring commercial techno from the upstairs room.. - basically, imagine a film about drug culture - but a more suburban, less class-A scenario. Rather than have scantilly-clad smack-head girls K.O'd in various places, her house is more about the stoner-boy scenario; four bongs and a PS3 over grime-scene sex, everytime. So the excitement of busting a film-set was quickly dashed, and after a quick inspection of the state of la maison, we soon locked up the room and left for Asda. Not such a dramatic evening, after all.
Bright side- movie night with LB was not off the cards, and we made the 9 o'clock showing of Inglorious Basterds with time to spare.

This was were the fun really began.

Sat down, fantastic seats in a busy, busy cinema - we began chatting about everything i've just blogged. Then, just as the trailors were about to start - who walks in.. - SMJ! Love of my life SMJ. (Possibly the hottest boy ever to grace our town, unfortunately far too short for a tall girl like myself - otherwise we would have been together a long time ago..)DMJ (from the Wakestock story)'s older and far more attractive brother. Anyway - i digress!
SMJ - was sat right, right, right at the front! And LB & I, in our great seats were not in the best view line to see who he was Orange Wednesday-ing with.. little did we know what was coming next..!

Film played - and we got up from our seats, birds eye view of SMJ - and he was with....



JMcC!!


The town's betrayer! LB & I were GOBSMACKED!
JMcC is the younger, not-so-good ginger from school. - Recent heart-breaker of the oriental-esque rugby boy long-term boyfriend (which i wouldn't normally comment on - pot, kettle etc.) The only reason I pass judgement is the betray-ee or accomplice in the affair if you will was (is) an absolute douche. 'Ronny' O'H - Knob in every sense of the word. (And not attractive in the slightest.) Seems as though ginger McB has burnt all her bridges with the rugby boy 'in crowd' so has set her sights on the one crush that I would have never paired her with. Gutted.
She must have had a rubbish summer - all her 'friends' - younger 'it' girls completely abandoned ship when the extra-marital affair hit the fan! Surprise, surprise - the rugby boys win again.

Anyway - getting to the car we started talking about how we could set up our own Gossip girl-esque system, if we knew someone that was good with computers.. This was after prolonging our exit because he'd gone to the toilet and we hadn't seen them in any motion of affection to decide if they were on a date. We started driving home anyway in excitement - only to find ourselves passing them at their car! He drove, and instigated a bit of a race home after we beeped him in a 'we-caught-you-out' kind of fashion. Not quite fast-and-the-furious, but never the less, enough to get the boy-racer in both us L's going! Soon, we found ourselves at the point where we would split paths if he was to take her back to hers. If she was staying at his he would have more than likely followed the way we were going - and as it was, he went the other way. Clearly they're not quite at the sleeping together stage, just yet, thankfully!
That scandalous affair provided us with ample entertainment for the subsiquent rest of journey, naturally. And the idea of being our town's answer to gossip girl is very much at the forefront of my mind.. If only I was good with technology..

Watch this space not-so-upper-easters,

xoxo